


messing with my sanity

by ohmcgee



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Banter, Canon Universe, Coming Untouched, Dildos, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 08:01:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14807444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmcgee/pseuds/ohmcgee
Summary: They're playing a game, the same one they've played time and time again, and Tim fully intends to win.





	messing with my sanity

**Author's Note:**

> For anon, who wanted Tim/object insertion. Hope you enjoy!

“You know, that would’ve gone a lot better if  _ someone _ could keep their fucking  _ feathers _ out of my face,” Jason snaps, thumbing the blood from the corner of his mouth. 

“For the last time, they’re not feathers,” Tim says. “And they’re made of kevlar, so fuck you.”

“Yeah,” Jason says. “Kevlar  _ feathers. _ You’re a bulletproof showgirl. Congrats.”

“Laugh it up,” Tim shoots back. “But I'm not the homicidal maniac who ran around Gotham  dressed like a giant red dildo.”

“Now see,” Jason laughs. “All that proves, Drake, is that you’re every bit the prude I figured you were and have absolutely no idea what an actual dildo looks like.”

“And that’s my cue,” Dick grimaces. “You guys enjoy your uh, discussion though.”

“No, I’m done,” Tim says, rolling his eyes at Jason when Jason flips him off. “I’ve got better things to do.”

“Like googling what actual sex is like?” Jason smirks, shouting at Tim even after he fires a line and swings off. “I know a great website if you want the link!”

“You do know he’s had more girlfriends than you have,” Damian says from the shadows and Jason swears under his breath. Whoops, totally forgot he was back there.

“Hey,” Jason scowls. “Who’s side are you on?”

“The side where I never have to hear a conversation like that again,” Damian says, disgust dripping from his tone. “However. I support your endeavor to terrorize Drake in whatever manner you choose.”

Jason snorts. “I’m glad I have your approval.”

Damian takes off without another word, leaving Jason on the roof alone. Before firing his own line and heading back to his place, Jason digs the pack of smokes out of his jacket pocket and lights one up, watching as the sun peeks over the horizon.

The thing is, he doesn’t actually think Tim’s some blushing virgin. He just likes winding him up, watching that vein in his neck pop out. It’s hardly the first thing Jason’s ragged on him for. Hell, they do this shit all the time. It's kind of their schtick. Once, they argued for an entire month over pizza toppings. Jason ended up spending $400 one week trolling Tim by sending him a dozen pizzas every night with nothing but pineapple on them.

Jason’s eyes light up, lips curling into a smirk as an idea comes to him. He totally knows what he’s doing next and it is going to be  _ good. _

 

: : :

 

Tim gets home from class Thursday night to find a small package sitting on his bed. It’s a plain white box aside from his name scrawled across the top in black Sharpie. Curious, Tim picks it up and takes it into the kitchen with him, grabbing a glass of water before sitting down at the bar and opening it up. 

As soon as he gets the lid off, Tim chokes on his water. Inside the box, on a bed of red tissue paper, lies a thick, black, silicone dildo. When he picks it up he finds a little sticky note underneath, the letter J scrawled across it with a smiley face doodled underneath.

“Jesus, Jason,” Tim mutters, slapping the lid back on the box and huffing. The jackass really doesn’t know when to quit. Tim thinks about taking his phone out and shooting Jason a couple of colorfully profane texts, but before he can do that he gets a text from Dick, sending him coordinates for where to meet for patrol tonight. Tim will just have to wait to threaten him with bodily harm in person; even better.  
  


: : :

 

As it turns out, Jason’s not patrolling with them tonight. Damian says Bruce sent him to Portugal and Dick heard that he was headed to Tokyo, but with Jason there’s never really any telling. Tim’s just happy he doesn't have to put up with his crap all night, even if it does make things a little bit boring. 

“Quiet without Jason,” Dick says at the end of the night.

“Yes, how horrible it was that we didn’t have to listen to their terrible attempts at flirting all night,” Damian mutters under his breath and Tim snaps his neck to look at him.

“First of all,” he says. “No. Second of all,  _ what? _ ”

Dick just giggles behind him.

“We do not  _ flirt _ ,” Tim says. “Unless you consider threatening each other’s lives on a daily basis flirting, which --”

“Most of us do,” Damian interjects.

“No, Damian,” Tim says, shaking his head. “That’s just you.”

“I dunno, Timbo,” Dick says, hopping off the edge of the roof. “You two kind of got this unresolved tension thing going on. You sure it's not flirting?”

“Oh God, you too?” Tim groans. “What is this? Did Jason pay you two to give me crap while he's gone? He did, didn't he.”

“While that is definitely something he would do,” Dick says. “We’re doing this pro bono, bro.”

Damian squints up at Dick. Tim just shakes his head and fires his grapple gun. He doesn't need this kind of insanity right now.

 

: : :

 

As soon as Tim gets home he jumps in the shower and washes off the night’s sweat and blood. He grabs a bagel from the kitchen and towels his hair off while he waits for the toaster to pop. Standing in the middle of the kitchen as he eats, Tim’s eyes fall on the small white box Jason had left him. The small, white box with the very large dildo inside. 

Like, really big.

_ Massively  _ big.

Tim licks a smear of cream cheese from the corner of his mouth and finishes the last piece, then walks over to the bar and takes the lid off the box again. Yep, just as big as he remembered. Not super long exactly, just  _ thick. _ Flesh toned with realistic veins and glands; there was even detail on the head that made it look like there was a slit in it. When Tim reached inside the box and grabbed it he felt the back of his neck flush with heat. It was smooth and silky, insanely close to what a real cock felt like, and the full, slightly wrinkled up balls at the base were actually a bit squishy.

Regardless of whatever notions Jason had about him, this wasn’t the first dildo he’d seen. But none of them had been this realistic...or this huge. Also, he’d never actually  _ used _ any of them. He and Steph had bought one together, had discussed getting her a harness so she could use it on him one day, but unfortunately they’d split up before that came up again.

Wrinkling his forehead, Tim turns the lights off in the kitchen and takes Jason’s “gift” into his room with him. He knows it’s ridiculous, but Jason brings out his competitive side and there’s a part of him that can’t stop hearing Jason’s teasing voice in his head, the way he’ll smirk at Tim the next time he sees him, like he thinks he’s won. Yeah, Tim can’t have that. So, he strips out of his boxers, grabs the bottle of lube from the top drawer in his nightstand, and gets comfortable on his bed.

As he begins to work his hand up and down his dick, Tim holds the dildo in his free hand and looks at it a little more. It seems even bigger now, especially since he can’t stop thinking about what he plans on doing with it. He wonders if maybe he should work up to it, start off with something smaller before he goes for it, but he doesn’t  _ have _ anything smaller. He’d have to stop and go buy something or order it online and wait, more likely, and Tim doesn’t really feel like waiting, not with the way his cock is leaking all over the place while he thinks about what he's about to do.

Letting out a deep exhale, Tim teaches for the bottle of lube to get started, then gets startled by his phone buzzing across the nightstand. A picture of Jason flipping him off flashes across the screen.

“You gotta be kidding me,” Tim mutters. It’s probably not the best time to answer the phone, but in their line of work you never know when it could be life and death. So, Tim begrudgingly swipes his finger across the screen and taps the speakerphone icon. “What do you want, Jason?”

“Good morning to you too, cranky bird,” Jason’s laugh fills the room. Tim closes his eyes and wills his hands to stay by his side. “So, did you get my present?”

Tim’s cheeks fill with heat. “Yes.”

He swears he can hear Jason’s shit eating grin through the phone. “And? How did you find it?”

He can’t believe Jason is doing this shit to him. He can’t believe he just happened to call  _ right now _ .

“Jason, seriously. Cut it the fuck out. I’m tired and I --”

“Cause I mean, I know it’s a lot to take,” Jason continues. Tim closes his eyes and sighs. Sometimes it’s best to just let him get it out of his system. “But if you need someone to walk you through it, I just want you to know. I’m here for you.”

“You’re an asshole,” Tim grits out. Jason  _ giggles _ on the other end of the line and something in Tim just sort of snaps. He opens his eyes and picks the dildo up off the bed, running his thumb up the length of it. “Maybe you should though.”

A beat, then Jason gives a clipped, awkward laugh. “Haha yeah, maybe I should.”

“I mean, it  _ is _ a lot,” Tim says. “And you know that I’ve never done anything like this before. I’m...nervous.”

Silence.

They’re playing a game, one that Tim has won time and time again and is still, somehow, one of Jason’s favorites. Who’s going to blink first?

“That’s understandable,” Jason says, his voice a little lower than before, heavy with something Tim doesn’t want to think too much about. Yet. “But as long as you take it slow you’ll be alright.”

“Yeah?” Tim asks. He notices his voice has also dropped an octave and his hand is shaking a little where it’s holding the dildo.

“Mm,” Jason says. This is the game. Push each other and push each other and see who’s the first to break. “And lots of lube. Don’t forget that. That’s important.”

“Good point,” Tim says, grabbing the bottle of lube.

“But,” Jason adds. “I mean, if you really haven’t played with one of these before you probably should ah, prepare yourself a little before you go at yourself with that monster.”

The flush on Tim’s face crawls down his neck and chest and he digs his teeth into his bottom lip. “Um?”

“You know,” Jason says. “With your fingers.”

“Oh, “ Tim says. His skin feels like it’s on fire. It feels like Jason is sitting right here in the same room as him, dictating his actions. Tim doesn’t think he’s been this hard before in his  _ life. _

“You ever do  that before?” Jason asks and Tim rolls his eyes.

“Yes, Jason.”

“Good,” Jason says. “Then just --”

Tim accidentally lets out a sound when he pushes one of his fingers inside and Jason’s words break off as soon as he does it.  _ Shit. Shit shit shit. _

“Tim,” Jason says, something in his tone that makes Tim shudder. “Are you…”

Tim doesn’t say anything -- can’t say anything. He made a bad judgemental call. An extremely bad judgemental call. He should’ve never answered the phone. He should have never opened the damn box. He has to stop before things get any weirder. “Listen, I gotta --”

“Tim,” Jason says again, softer, and Tim’s cock twitches against his belly. “Are you doing this...right now? For real? Not fucking with me?”

Tim still can’t say anything. He feels like he’s been caught red handed. He’s naked, spread out on his bed, fingering himself while Jason is god knows where thinking he’s just giving Tim shit or something and --

“Because if you are. Fuck. Tim, tell me.”

“I can’t,” Tim mutters. He hears Jason let out a deep, heavy breath into the phone.

“Fuck,” he says. “You are.”

Tim flushes red hot with shame. “Jay --”

“Christ, that’s fucking hot,” Jay almost whispers and Tim’s body reacts ridiculously to just that, tightening around the finger inside of him and leaking more precome onto his stomach. “Do you --- you fingering yourself right now? Like I told you to?”

A beat. Then, softly, “Yes.”

“One or two?”

“One,” Tim replies, quicker this time.

“Ready for two?

“Mm,” Tim moans a little, flipping the cap on the lube and dripping a little bit more onto his fingers before pushing another one inside of him. “Yeah, I. I’m good.”

“Good,” Jason says. “How’s it feel?”

“Mmm,” Tim hums. “Good. Really good.”

“Hurt?”

“No,” Tim says. “Feels like a lot though.”

“That present I left you is a lot bigger than two of your scrawny fingers.”

“I know that,” Tim snaps a little. “I’m working on it.”

Jason laughs softly into the phone. “It’s not a fucking mission, Tim. You can take your time. Twist your fingers, scissor them a little.”

Tim huffs the way he does when Jason tries to offer him tips on how to use his  _ own _ bow staff in the field, but regardless does what he suggests, closing his eyes and letting his mouth fall open as he stretches himself out.

“Quiet over there.”

“I’m,” Tim swallows. “A little busy.”

Jason chuckles again, soft and warm, and it washes over Tim, making heart pool in his belly. “How you doing?”

“Good,” Tim says. He’s considering trying to add another finger when Jason says, “Good. Fuck yourself with them.”

Tim lets out a barely there  _ oh _ and has to bring a hand up to squeeze the base of his dick, his stomach tightening as he clenches around his own fingers.

“Probably need to add more lube f --”

“I  _ know _ ,” Tim snaps, but his voice sounds wrecked even to himself. He expects Jason to laugh at him again, but he doesn’t this time. He stays quiet as Tim pops the cap on the lube again and squirts a generous amount onto his fingers before pushing them back inside of him. Tim’s mouth falls open again as he starts moving them in and out, desperately holding back the moans that want to bubble up out of his throat. He’s done this to himself before a few times, but it never felt this good, and when Tim realizes that that’s probably because someone’s basically listening to him, guiding him, almost right there with him, he feels another wave of arousal shudder through him.

“Tim,” Jason says and there’s an edge to his tone, almost like impatience.

“I’m doing,” Tim pants out, “what you said.”

A beat. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Tim says, face flushing hot when the word comes out more like a low, obscene moan. “I want…”

“Do it,” Jason says almost before Tim’s finished talking and that tight, hot feeling returns to Tim’s belly. He bites his bottom lip as he carefully slides his fingers out, and squirts a good amount of lube onto the dildo, spreading it up and down the shaft with his hand.

“You couldn’t have gotten one, I don’t know, normal person sized,” Tim says just to fill in the awkward silence, mostly, and gets another one of Jason’s quiet laughs in return.

“Maybe that is normal sized,” he says and Tim rolls his eyes as he considers what position would be best for this. “You wouldn’t know.”

“You know,” Tim says, deciding to stay on his back, biting his bottom lip as he positions the dildo at his hole. “I’m starting to think this weird fixation you have on my sex life is about more than just giving me shit.”

Jason makes a humming sound through the phone. “You underestimate how much joy I get from ragging on you.”

“Maybe,” Tim says, breath hitching as he rubs the head of the dildo over his hole. “Or maybe you’re fishing. Trying to find out what I’ve done and what I haven’t done.”

“And why, preytail, would I do that?”

“Oh  _ fuck _ ,” Tim gasps as he pushes the head inside, completely forgetting whatever they had been talking about. God, it’s so much more than his fingers. Just the head of the thing makes him feel full.

“Fuck, Tim,” Jason breathes out. “Is it -- are you?”

“Yeah,” Tim groans. “Just a little.”

“Cause it’s so big?”

Tim nods, then realizes Jason can’t see him do so. “Obviously,” he grits out.

“Relax,” Jason says, almost soothingly. “You can take it. Just gotta relax.”

This is where Tim would normally tell him to fuck off, but Jason’s voice is actually helping a little. Tim just focuses on his voice and his breathing and when he tries to push it in a little farther, his body relaxes and takes it.

“Oh god,” Tim moans. Pushes a little more “Oh  _ fuck _ .”

“Fuck, listen to you,” Jason growls out. “How much you got?”

“Not even half,” Tim pants out. “Jason, it’s so big. Fuck, it feels... _ god. _ ”

“Slow,” Jason says. “Just relax and go slow. It’s gonna feel so good when you take it all, Tim.”

Tim wants to tell him to go to hell, that maybe  _ he _ should try putting something this huge inside of him, but he can barely think straight right now, much less put together a coherent insult. Besides, it’s not like he’s going to back down. This is still a game and Tim is still going to be the winner.

For a few minutes Tim says nothing and neither does Jason. He wonders how much of his heavy breathing Jason can hear on his end of the phone, if he can pick up every little hitch in Tim’s breath each time he manages to push the dildo in a little bit farther.

“How’s it going?” Jason says after a few minutes of silence and Tim shudders as he presses the last few inches inside of him, the soft, realistic balls flush against his ass.

“Oh my god,” Tim gasps, just holding it there by the base. “Jason, it’s --- god, it’s too much. I can’t --”

“It’s really not that big,” Jason says. “I just picked one that looked the same size as me.”

As soon as the words are out of Jason’s mouth Tim’s hips jerk involuntarily, causing the dildo to bump his prostate and Tim lets out the most obscene noise he’s ever made as his vision completely whites out.

“ _ Oh fuck _ ,” he cries out, gripping the base of the dildo and  _ pushing _ , mouth falling open in a silent scream as he looks down and watches his dick shoot ropes of come up his chest without him even  _ touching _ it.

“Fuck, are you coming?” Jason pretty much growls at him and Tim’s reply comes in the form of a filthy moan, cock twitching and spilling more come onto his belly.

“Yes,” he pants. “Jason, god--”

“Jesus fuck,” Jason groans, then Tim can hear rustling on the other end, followed by a low, deep moan. “Don’t take it out yet. Just -- fuck, tell me how it feels.”

“Good,” Tim says, whimpering as the orgasm ripples through him, making his body clench around the dildo. “So good. So big,  _ god. _ Is it -- are you really this size?”

“Pretty damn close,” Jason says, words punctuated by heavy breathing.

“Fuck,” Tim gasps, pulling the dildo out almost all the way, then slowly pushing it back in. He’s almost too sensitive for it, but he doesn’t want to take it out either, doesn't want to lose this feeling.

“You like that?” Jason pants. “Like knowing that’s what it would feel like if I was there right now, bending you in half and fucking your tight little ass?”

“Please,” Tim whimpers and grips the base of the dildo. There’s no question as to what’s causing Jason’s labored breathing and the thought has Tim fucking himself with the dildo despite how over-sensitive he feels, moaning and whining with each thrust. “Feels so good, Jay.”

“You fucking yourself with it? Gonna make yourself come again, Tim? Christ, I knew you’d be a little cockslut.”

Tim lets out a loud whine and wraps his free hand around his cock. “Wish it was you though,” he lets out, cheeks going warm as he finally lets himself admit outloud the way that he really feels, has always felt about Jason. What he's always wanted.

“Yeah, me too,” Jason says, his voice deeper, strained. “Can just imagine what you look like, covered in your own mess, pretty hole all stretched open around me.”

The  _ me, _ Tim figures, was probably a slip, but fuck it almost pushes him right over the edge again. If he closes his eyes, he can imagine that’s what’s really happening. That Jason’s has his knees pushed up to his shoulders, crowding over him and fucking him with his huge, thick cock as he jerks himself off. Tim wonders if they’d just fuck, grunts and moans and noises, or if Jason would touch him, if he’d kiss him --

“Jason,” he gasps. “Oh god, I think I’m gonna --”

“Fuck, Tim,” Jason says, voice breaking in the middle. “ _ Yes.  _ Come for me. Fuck yourself on my cock. Let me hear you --”

“ _ Jay,”  _ Tim screams this time when it hits him, harder than the first time, more intense because of Jason’s filthy words in his ear. His back arches off the bed and pleasure coils up in his belly, then snaps as he clenches around the dildo again and spurts more come onto his stomach with each wave of his orgasm.

“Oh, fuck yes,” Jason groans. “Yeah, come for me, baby. Come on my cock. Oh fuck, fuck,  _ Tim --- _ ”

Tim closes his eyes and listens to the filthy sounds Jason makes when he comes, a mixture of grunts and moans interspersed with Tim’s name over and over. When he’s finished he’s breathing so heavy that Tim can hear each exhale coming from the speaker of his phone.

“Jesus christ,” Jason finally says, laughing. “Jesus fucking  _ christ, _ Tim. Fine, I give. You win.”

“Of course I do,” Tim says, slowly easing the dildo out.

“Though I gotta say. I don’t really feel like a loser here either.”

Tim chews on his bottom lip. Now that the crazy  haze of sex has lifted everything feels sort of weird and awkward. What if they just made a really bad mistake? What if they just made everything super weird between them?

“Yeah, uh. Me neither.”

“I mean, maybe there was some truth in what you were saying. About me fishing for shit.”

“Jason Todd,” Tim says. “Are you saying I was...right?”

Jason just laughs. “Don’t push it, replacement.”

Tim grins. Yeah, they’re gonna be fine.

 

**Author's Note:**

> check me out on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ohmcgee), if you're nasty


End file.
